Is Your Bladder Bursting? Here Are The Best Places To Relieve Yourself In Malta

Ħa jaqali...

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These places might seem obvious to the seasoned local, but for anyone who's just moved to Malta, or is popping in for a quick visit – these are the places you need to run to when nature calls. In no particular order.

1. Valletta's scandalous public toilets

Not only will you be able to freely relieve yourself, you'll also get a glimpse at one of Malta's most provocative corners of architecture

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STRAIT STREET PUBLIC TOILETS, VALLETTA – PHOTO BY CHRIS BRIFFA ARCHITECTS

2. Ġnien Indipendenza, Sliema

Don't let your toilet trauma ruin a leisurely stroll along the Sliema promenade. Take a detour into the Independence Garden and look for the building with a giant cat on it. Not a joke. 

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3. Upper Barrakka Gardens, Valletta

Well maintained and good level of cleanliness, plus you'll get to walk by the most gorgeous view on the islands. #winning

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4. Mdina's Public Toilets

These toilets even have rave reviews on TripAdvisor. So not only is Mdina the top tourist destination for it's beautiful architecture and ambience, it's also the most relaxing public toilet break you're going to get while on the island.

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5. Ferro Bay Toilets, Sliema

More useful in the spring months, the toilets at Ferro Bay (which is the little known rocky beach immediately to the left of Sliema Pitch if you're standing on the promenade facing the sea) are perfectly placed for those who want to enjoy the warm sun by the sea, but not necessarily take the plunge into the deep blue itself. 

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6. The brand new Gozitan public toilets

So great are these new public toilets that the Gozo Minister held an inaugurating ceremony in their honour. Located in Ħondoq Ir-Rummien, these toilets will even compete with the ones you have at home. Full points to gozo.

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Photo: timesofmalta.com

7. Every shopping mall on the islands

Without naming any names, shopping malls are possibly your safest bet for relieving yourself in a free, clean, hassle-free environment in Malta. And ditch the guilt about only using the premises for number one and two. Chances are you'll make an impulse buy on your way out when you're feeling way less stressed.

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8. Any Maltese hotel with lax front door security

Walk into any 4/5-star hotel like you totally own the joint – or at least a room for a couple of nights – and you're guaranteed a relaxed, loo-paper stocked toilet visit every time. 

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BONUS: The Mediterranean Sea

The Maltese Islands enjoy fabulous weather pretty much all year round. Many people who live here swim for the majority of months on the calendar – so there's really no reason why you shouldn't have your first morning wee with a refreshing dip into our beautiful sea.

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Share this with a friend you know will be visiting Malta soon! They might really need it at some point...

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