Hilarious Pick Up Lines That Will Only Work In Malta

You can thank us / blame us for the coffee in your crotch later!

Rachel Cover

If you're looking to impress that (perhaps not-so) secret crush of yours, you can very easily Google a whole bunch of lines and try them out one by one. Thing is, there's a very big chance that they've heard "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" at least 49,794 times now, so why don't you hit them with something a little more nationally relatable? 

1. "Why am I better than Maxims?"

Ray Pedella

"You don't have to pay anything to eat my pastizz / Wudy sausage roll"

2. "Haven't I seen you before somewhere...?"

Klikka Flirt

"... no ta, not in my dreams or anything like that. Weren't you at Malcolm's wedding? And James' Holy Communion party? Wait...are we cousins? No? Wanna go for a drink?"

3. "Still waiting for the bus?"

Busuttil Smile

"Why don't you hop in and I'll give you a ride to heaven instead?"

4. "Who's your daddy?"

Perv Smile

"No seriously, cause I think there's a big chance he used to teach me at Sixth Form, and if it's really him I want to redeem my bad grade by giving his daughter a D in the A, if you know what I mean."

5. "Are you a vara?"

Malta Creep Smile

"Cause girl, I would pay thousands to carry you around on my shoulders all day."

6. "You really remind me of Ira Losco..."

Ira Seventh Wonder Original

"...or maybe it's just cause you've got the makings of my seventh wonder." #vom

7. "Clinton Paul might be on to something"


"Cause a freak lives riiiiiiiiiiiiight here."

8. "Do you want to be my Panama?"

Konrad Mizzi Smile

"I can lock you up somewhere dark and secret and throw all my money at you."

9. "Hey babe, I'm running for election..."

Claudette Eyebrows

"...and I feel like making big promises that will seem exciting for a one-night stand but then wuss out in the last minute and not deliver."

10. "I want you to be my Azure Window."

Scott Pilgrim Sexy Wink

"I'll climb on top and explore all over you until you collapse."

11. "What do you and Manoel Island have in common?"

My Niggah

If you play your cards right, you too will get screwed by something big and unstoppable tonight."

Would these work on you? Share this post with a friend who really needs to up their game!

READ NEXT:  Best Excuses For Ditching Your Date That Only Work In Malta

Written By

David Grech Urpani

Sarcastically ironic, Dave is a recovering hipster musician with a penchant for chicken, women's clothes and Kanye.