11 Stages Of Every Maltese Christmas Family Photo
Every. Single. Time.
1. It's always the most overbearing and nostalgic aunt who suggests it, just as she gets a bit too tipsy
"This is the only day we're altogether ejja, let's take some photos."
2. The cousin with the newest SLR camera is appointed official photoshoot coordinator
"Dik vera brava bis-selfies, ejja Bettina."
3. Each family gets their own photo as we build up to the grand finale
First the Grimas, then the Camilleris, then the Cassars, but nanna/nannu/both are always there.
4. Once everyone is warmed up, it's time for the huge family photo
"Tall ones at the back, kids on the floor." But the kids obviously give no fucks and they're just running around screaming like headless chickens.
5. Someone suggest the new boyfriend of the youngest cousin takes the photo because they're not really part of the family
"Ta min hu dak? Is he the same of last year?"
6. The youngest cousin gets pissed off
"He's the love of my life, ok? I want him in the photo."
7. We finally agree on using the timer
Which we get wrong five times in a row.
8. When we master it, everyone's already getting up
Half of us: Photo has been taken, let's get another drink.
Other half: Still posing: "Ejja, sit back down!"
9. One last time, and it's perfect
Except for that one uncle that ruins it all with a dad-joke 'qrun'.
10. Uploaded to Facebook...
"Amazing family! Love you sweet xxx"
11. And someone always complains
"Is that the best one we had?"
"I didn't think you were going to publish it on Facebook."
BONUS: "We have the coolest family ta"
And the most good looking.