A Maltese Christmas Drinking Game To Help You Get Through Family Dinner
If you're going to be drinking anyway, might as well make a game out of it
You know what's worse than having to sit through an awkward Christmas dinner with your extended family and some people you've literally never met in your life since that one time when you were six and they came up from Australia for a week? Having to do all of that while sober.
So to help you, here’s a Christmas dinner drinking game which you can enjoy with your family... or on your own, if you're a lone wolf.
Be wary; this is a dangerous game to play. You will be drunk off your tits in no time.
Make sure that you drink responsibly, and don't forget to either ask someone to drive you home or call a cab. Hell, you can even crash at nanna’s house if she lets you. Go for it.
1. Have a tiny sip from the drink of your choice when someone asks you about boyfriends/girlfriends
This will definitely happen if you’re single or you haven’t introduced your SO to your family yet.
Keep your drink close and your family members closer. The more they drink, the more they’re prone to ask.
2. Take a shot of liquor every time your grandparents ask anyone to repeat what they've just said
Whenever they go E? or X’għedtli? take a shot.
Be warned; you will be piss drunk in no time.
3. Have a sip of gin every time your uncle says something out of line
We guarantee that everyone has that one awkward uncle. He will step out of line and say something super inappropriate almost every single time he opens his mouth.
We cannot deny, however, that he’s the fun uncle.
4. Have a giant gulp of wine every time your mum worries about something trivial
Whether it’s clothes, food, napkins or bathroom smells, every time your mother starts worrying about something extremely trivial, you need to take a giant gulp of wine.
White, red, mulled or rosé; it doesn’t matter as long as you fill your mouth with it.
5. Every time a fart joke is uttered, have a shot of cream liqueur
Fart jokes are a must when the family gets together. It’s inevitable, and whether someone lets one out accidentally or on purpose, a joke will definitely be made at some point or another. #HelloDad
6. Down your drink of choice whenever someone gloats about their life
Whether your zija is gloating about your cousin’s PhD or how good her grandson is at nursery league football, you have to down the first glass you set your eyes on.
7. Have some water whenever neighbourly gossip becomes the subject
You definitely need something to sober you up during this game, so whenever neighbourly gossip becomes the subject, just stick to water.
Maybe plop in a lemon wedge or whatever. Try not to throw up.
8. “Taf min miet?” deserves some fancy sparkling wine
Whenever this infamous question is uttered, you need to sip on something bubbly.
Not because it’s a celebratory subject, but because it’s something that will be said at least 10 times in one sitting.
9. Double fist two shots when your teenage cousin sulks off in a corner
Whenever one of your teenage cousins is seen sulking in their corner of doom, you need to get two shots of choice and down them instantly. Guaranteed fun and amusement will follow.
Hey; maybe take one of the shots and offer it to them.
10. Have three sips of hard alcohol whenever a heated political debate is brought up
This is a dangerous bit, especially if your family is split into two different sets of supporters.
It might be that the political debates will be a constant thing, but they might also be rare and sporadic. We don’t know your family, brah.
11. Down a glass of white wine whenever football is mentioned
The good old football banter will definitely be part of the evening. It's really almost mandatory at any Maltese gathering.
One of the dads will definitely comment on whichever game Milan or Liverpool had last week. I don’t know anything about football and I don’t really care for it either, but I'm pretty sure your family does.