Seriously, WTF Is This Black Box In Sliema?

Who is trying to contact us?

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Sliema residents this morning were surprised to find a room-sized black box deposited along the Sliema front. There were no markers on it, bar a timer on the side, leading to wild speculation about what it could be - and what could happen when the timer runs out.

When a large black box suddenly deposits itself next to you, there are only a limited number of things it could be. The obvious answer is, of course, aliens.

But there are other things it could be, assuming it is not a gift from our extra-terrestrial friends. Here are some of them.

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1. It's a lift to a soon-to-be-opened underground bunker

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Could be great for underground parties, could also be essential for future problems that may arise. Who knows, it may be exactly what the local hipster scene needs.

2. It's a fuckload of bees

If it's good enough for Oprah's audience, it's good enough for Sliema! BEES! 

3. It's a new political party forming

Like aliens from their eggs, a new political party (colloquially to be known as partit tal-kaxxa), is breeding in the depths of the box. Based on anarcho-radicalism and running of a platform of anti-incarceration, the political party's main slogan is 'Be yourself. Don't let them put you in a box'. 

4. It's a glitch in the space-time continuum

The box is nothing more than humble living quarters from another dimension. Right now, as we speak, there's a family of four humanoids staring out of their one-way tinted windows, and worrying about how we fit so many people into buses. They sure are excited to come out when the timer's up and try some Kebab Ji though.

5. It belongs to a gameshow

With the recent reboot of the legendary Takeshi's Castle, and iTV's game show Cannon Ball being filmed in Malta, it's plausible that the box is a prop from a show. 

When the timer runs down, expect hundreds of little bunnies to run out. Whoever catches the most of them, wins the first round.

For the second round, whoever can cook the best fenkata wins. 

The third and final round winner is whoever can eat the most rabbits.

It is a black box after all...what kind of gameshow did you expect?

Some of the aforementioned bunnies, marinating overnight

6. It's a plane's black box

And not just any plane. This is the largest plane to ever fly the skies. It makes the Concorde look like a hummingbird. No-one knows what happened to it though...until now.  

7. It's a fashion launch

Could it be Gucci? Or maybe Louboutin? Could a major fashion brand really be launching it's newest winter line in an unmarked black box near a tumultuous ocean? There have been stranger events

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What do you think is in the black box? Let us know in the comments below. 

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Written By

Johnathan Cilia

Johnathan is interested in the weird, dark, and wonderful contradictions our late-capitalist society forces upon us. He also likes music and food.

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