Driving in Malta is one of those weird things that is awesome and sucks at the same time. You have the ability to get wherever you want on this rock, but you can now also be stuck in traffic.
However, there are those that, for a variety of reasons, never got around to getting their driver’s license. The problem is, life tends to get busier the older you get, and a good travel plan becomes more and more essential.
Yet, there are still those adults that don’t have a driving license. Here are 9 ways not having your license in your 20s sucks.
1. You have a panic attack if you are left alone in an illegally parked car
You are happily driving along with your friends, its a sunny day, and Despacito is playing on the radio. Everything is perfect.
Then your friend realises he needs to stop quickly for cash. Your friend pulls up haphazardly near an ATM, and shouts a quick “if the cops come just move it a bit” before disappearing.
All of a sudden, you look like this cat.
2. Your self-esteem is directly correlated to where you live
It’s 4am Sunday morning in Paceville. You’ve been getting lit for about 5 hours, you can’t count past the number 26, and everyone is calling it a night. As everyone goes to leave, you are casually asked if you need a ride home.
Hell yes you need a ride home, you reply. And then, the dreaded question comes: where do you live?
You die a bit inside as you reply “Xgħajra”.
3. You feel like a needy ex every time you need a ride
You notice you start treating people with cars like that ex you still call when your drunk and horny at 4am. Your tone rises a little bit, your voice becomes seductive and whispery, and you pull out the best ‘Puss in Boots’ eyes you have, every time.
4. Strangers start giving you ‘suggestions’
“Imma why don’t you get a bike at least” starts to get on your nerves after about the 12th time.
5. Your identity becomes defined by your inability to drive
Some people define themselves by what they’ve done. Others define themselves by what they are about to do. You, you define yourself by the license you never obtained.
6. Your friends aren’t sure if you are lazy or just super environmental
Even after you show them pictures of rush hour in Malta, car crashes, and statistics of road deaths of people in your age range, they are still just going to assume you are lazy af.
7. You will do anything to avoid public transport
Getting to places on time is important, sure. But there are some things that should just never be acceptable.
8. People are literally shocked that you do not drive
People’s overreaction to you not driving is more akin to a death in the family. Interventions, group therapy, aunties calling asking “imma really why don’t you drive” – yet still no-one is offering to drive you to work.