Malti-Awstraljani: just like normal Maltese people, but richer.

Maltese-Australians are a special type of people that combine the laid-back lifestyle of Malta with the laid-back lifestyle of Australia.

As two former British colony islands, the nations have more in common than first meets the eye.

But anyone who moves to Australia for an extended period of time will be irreversibly changed.

Maybe it’s the open space, maybe it’s the opportunities, or maybe it’s the potable water, but a Maltese person slowly evolves into a Maltese-Australian after a certain amount of time living there.

However, when they come back to Malta, they can expect to hear some dumb shit from the indigenous Maltese. Here are seven of those dumb things.

1. “I have family in Sydney, you know them? The Cauchis?”

Yes, I know the Cauchis. We all know the Cauchis.

In Sydney, all the Maltese know each other, every last one. I mean, there’s only about 200,000 Maltese-Australians in Australia, why wouldn’t we know the Cauchis?

The exact location of the Cauchis, confirmed

2. “Malta’s changed a lot since the last time you came, hux?”

This is often said to older Maltese-Australians on their return to Malta. The answer, oftentimes is, ‘yes, yes it has changed and we know how time works’.

3. “Malta hasn’t changed at all since the last time you came, hux?”

This is also often said to older Maltese-Australians on their fateful return to Malta. Once again, the answer to this question is oftentimes ‘no, not at all. For sure looks like it did 50 years ago’.

4. “Why did you even come back?”

To be honest, they probably don’t really know themselves. It’s a mix between wanting to see family and wanting to remind themselves what they escaped: their family.

Especially Ġuza, she was always up to no good.

5. *Some lame kangaroo joke*

Nothing is sadder for a Maltese-Australian to hear than a kangaroo-related joke. This is a tried and tested method of losing standing with your Maltese-Australian friends or family, and a sure fire way for them to categorise you in the “no Christmas cards” list forever.

Plus, kangaroos are nothing to joke about.

6. “Admit it, Malta is better right?”

If it was, don’t you think they’d still be in Malta then? Clearly, a country with over 100 times the GDP of Malta and about 25,000 times the space has something worth offering.

Also, it is said that living among some of the deadliest animals in the world builds character.

7. “How come your accent is like that?”

Because something evil will be created when you grow up in Tarxien then move to south Parramatta for ten years.

Tag a Maltese-Australian in the comments below!

READ NEXT: Things You Need To Stop Telling Students At MCAST