5 Things All Maltese Men Do In The Bathroom But Don’t Talk About
Women may famously go to the bathroom in packs, but men’s careless passiveness opens them up for a whole lot of mystery and debate. Just what do they do when they make their way to the little boy’s room?
Well, here are some things all Maltese men do in the bathroom, but for one reason or another, choose to not talk about.
1. Spending half an hour on the phone
Contrary to popular belief, relieving oneself is not the end of a man’s trip to the loo. Pair the modern world’s addiction to smartphones with men’s inability to multitask, and you’ve got yourself a winner.
Whether it’s a WhatsApp thread with the bros, the latest sports news, or just some good old food porn from around the island, this is just the beginning.
2. Switching the internet browser to Incognito Mode and spending another 15 minutes
You know what we’re talking about.
3. Talking to themselves in the mirror, throwing in a sexy pose or two
“Aw bro, x’g?andna? Ija ija issa g?adni ?ej. He he he, tajba. Mhm tlaqna ejja.”
Of course, it’ll all be whispered, just in case someone overhears and realises that there’s anything but normal bathroom behaviour going on behind.
Whether or not men will actually talk to themselves in the mirror, they will definitely throw in a smirking sexy pose or two… adding an eyebrow raise for good measure.
4. Shaving their beards in different styles “just to see what it looks like”
All the classics will eventually find their way to men’s shaving rituals. You’ve got the handlebar moustache, the goatee, the Elvis sideburns, and, of course, the Wolverine.
5. Trying out any female products
If men are sharing the bathroom with any woman, it’s time to stop kidding yourselves; they are going to try out one of their products. It’s probably going to be something like shampoo or perfume, because they can only spend so much time thinking how nice it smells before they try it out themselves.
It could be the perfect experiment to see whether female products are better suited to withstanding the Maltese heat and sweat it brings with it.
But with NIVEA Men Creme you won’t have to use female products
NIVEA Men Creme is an all-purpose moisturising product which can be used wherever your skin needs it. Its formula is non-greasy, non-sticky and absorbs quickly. It’s also got a pleasant, masculine-fresh scent, so don’t worry; your female product secret experiments are still safe.
The formula contains Vitamin E which gives the skin a boost of hydration, and can be used for anything from soothing irritated skin after shaving to treating rough, dry hands.
Finally, men also have the perfect way to #StartYourDayRight
