Shit Maltese People Think Will Change Every Time September Arrives
Spoiler alert: it never really does
September marks the beginning of the end for summer, but it's rarely the case in Malta. Sure, after an intensive, heatwave-filled couple of months, you'd understand the hope that September brings with it to the Maltese shores, but it's important to keep your expectations in check.
Here are five things Maltese people get fooled into thinking will change every year when September arrives... only to re-rememeber it probably won't.
1. You can finally wear anything other than a t-shirt
Ahh, sweater weather. Enjoy that cool autumn breeze in your favourite fuzzy hoodie, or finally start layering up and planning your outfits according to your favourite jackets.
Or you could keep wearing your trusty t-shirt, because the stuffy weather isn't going anywhere.
2. You can now cuddle in bed
Sure, you've always had the option to just switch on the AC, but a couple of heatwaves per week doesn't really inspire spooning. Now that September's started, you can finally use some of that body heat.
Yeah, no. It still feels like a billion degrees in bed, so you're just both sat there like:
3. Baths are now a thing
Gone are the days of taking a very quick (and cold) shower. Fill up the bath, throw in a couple of litres worth of that foamy stuff, and get ready to chill. Maybe throw in a candle and a bottle of wine into the mix.
Oh, and get ready to take a shower right after you get out of the bath... because you're going to be sweating more than you were in the first place.
4. Eating warm food
Mmm, brodu. Hot pies. Maltova with Bovril and a cheeky La Vache Qui Rit?
Throw those cravings aside and eat something which won't make you feel like you're literally consuming fire.
5. Clubbing finally doesn't mean dancing around in a pool of other people's sweat
Between the blistering heat and the sheer amount of people everywhere, clubbing in Malta's summers is a nightmare. But hey, September's here, so everyone's bound to go back home to their own country. Also, that sweet evening breeze should make the whole experience way better.
Not really; every nightclub is still going to be packed, and with the month's stuffy outbreaks, get ready to sweat till you drop.
6. Going on cute, wintery dates
You know what's fun? A little picnic under a patch of trees.
You know what's even more fun? An adventurous picnic where you get to live that #BearGrylls life.
You know what's not fun? Waking up at seven in the morning feeling like your tent is a DIY oven.