The 7 Things You Always See On A Maltese Boat-Day

Did you think this was going to be a calm, relaxing day? Awks.

On A Boat Qallu

With so many beautiful cliffs and caves across our island being completely inaccessible on foot, it's no wonder a lot of Maltese people count down the seconds till they're back on the open sea, repeatedly slamming their coccyx against the seats as they ride the waves without a care in the world. 

But no matter where your naval adventure takes you, you're always going to encounter a few standard Maltese boat practices.

1. The 8 boats that will be tied to each other

They will shamelessly block most of the bay, and most likely be huddled onto one boat anyway. Maybe their adventure at sea has led them to miss the crowds at Għadira.

Holy Ship

2. The insanely loud speed boat 

We get it, you're an adrenaline junkie, but can I please enjoy my sunbathing siesta? We're out here to avoid the sound of traffic, thanks.

Speed Boat

3. The kid who's definitely too young to be driving a dinghy alone. 

Occasionally they'll be wearing life jackets, which does little more than make them easier to spot. Little child, where are your parents?

Chimp Boat

4. The Jet Ski that just appears out of thin air

Was that an apparition? Am I already at the hallucinating-at-sea phase two hours in?


5. The group of adults with a giant inflatable whale

Your first thought is always "aren't those meant for kids?" before the envy slowly, but surely, creeps in and you make a mental note to hunt for one on eBay later that night.


6. The massive boat party which obviously harshed your vibe

Cue lots of loud, drunk singing and perhaps a flashed boob or two. Normally it'd be great fun, but today was your sunshine and chill day - please come back some other time.

Boat Party

7. The superyacht in the middle of the bay which makes you feel inferior

So the boat we're on is half the size of your rudder? It's not about the size - it's about the motion in the oce... oh. Yeah those are some pretty big waves.

Lionheart Valletta Daily Mail


BONUS: If you spot a Luzzu, make a wish!

Unless it turns out to be a party-boat luzzu, in which case: damn you're unlucky!

Do you have a friend who's obsessed with boats? Tag them on Facebook, and let us know which of these boat encounters pisses you off the most! 

Don't forget to Snap us if you're out and about on your boat this weekend.

READ MORE: Malta's Shipyard Looks Like The Coolest Place To Be As Crew Repairs 100-Year-Old Vessel