Trigger warning: This article mentions suicide and rape

It’s been almost one year since the worst night of Emma Attard’s life – and she’s been stuck in limbo ever since.

In April 2021, Attard spoke out publicly about being raped at night by a night carer contracted by Mount Carmel.

In the wake of the incident, a magisterial inquiry  was opened and the alleged perpetrator has been suspended. Police told Lovin Malta that investigations and the magisterial inquiry are still ongoing.

Still, nearly one year after, Attard feels like justice has been denied.

“This means that I have to relive the rape each and every day up to a point where I wanted to desperately kill myself,” she said. 

“The rape had a big toll on me and my mental health and this is something that no one prepared me for in the post-rape life.”

Attard, a 24-year-old artist, is dealing with constant flashbacks and triggers on top of her compromised mental health.

“No one experiences the flashbacks but me. No one else gets triggered when they see a fat shaved man. No one but me gets triggered by a friendly touch.”

The lack of action, she said, has left her in darkness with several more visits to Mount Carmel.

“I scared the hell out of my friends and family after my overdose and several suicidal attempts. It came up to this point. Because justice doesn’t care about the victims. They don’t care about their mental health.”

“The lack of justice made me incapable to show up to work for weeks and weeks, it put my relationships up to a test, withdrew me from life, pushed me into PTSD, depression, anxiety and panic attacks, and got me to several times in Mount Carmel and other overnight stays at the hospital,” she wrote.

She has since moved out of her home, the place where the incident allegedly occurred.

“It caused me to move from my own home, the place where I was raped because I could no longer take it any further. So, who is going to make up for this?”

What do you think of this case?